Thursday, February 7, 2013

Short Story: Hidden

This is another of my concoctions after creative writing class. Personally I feel this isn't as good as my first (see A Reunion of Sorts), but I would really hope for some pointers on how to improve! Plus, I think my title sounds a bit weird with regards to the piece. I hope you guys will enjoy this too!

Remember! Constructive feedback - Hell, any feedback - is always welcome!

xoxo pamela

“You’re staying here.” My mother’s voice commanded from behind the door.

It’s no fun being locked up in this room. The lights never go out, the gems sparkle under the lights as you walk around the room. The walls are forever clean, painted a white as the wings of Heaven’s angels. It smells of purity here. Of beauty and all that is holy. But that isn’t all. I have to put up with the incessant singing of the spirits, their voices melding as they sang every goddamn hymn there is on Earth, and then some.

I hate her. It’s not as if this imprisonment will make me change my mind.

“You know I don’t want to do this, but I have to.” My mother whispered behind that damn door that kept me from my love. That is another thing I hate about this place. The whispers are louder than they should be, and with a mother who can hear your every thought, you can never hide anything.

“He’s not right for you, Alison.” My mother sighed, leaving soon after. I could tell this from the sound of her wings flapping, leaving her place on the other side of the door.

Him. Luc. My love. I miss him, so much.


“You’re a beautiful sight…” the words of a man drifted in the wind.

Another one. I thought, irritated. I had started to love my simple life of caring for the plants in my garden. I had found peace watching my roses bloom a striking blood red under my touch, my apple trees growing those sweet-smelling, juicy fruits humans are always trying to produce. They will never get them like mine. My apples are planted from the purest of dirt that can only be found in the skies above.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” I stated to the stranger, a hint of frustration in my tone. How many times do I have to tell them? I have no wish to pursue a relationship with anyone!

“They say the most beautiful things belong here… I see that is true. If I knew I’d find you in this garden… I would have come for you sooner my love.” The man spoke again, his eyes never leaving my own.

This man was charming. His dark skin an alarming contrast against the light from the skies, his blond curls moving softly against the breeze, his blue eyes the color of the skies when it was at its faintest. His exotic beauty definitely belonged in my garden, but something about this man screamed danger. And that voice…

My mother had warned me against accepting tokens of love from any of the winged men. This stranger in my garden was no winged man. Handsome, definitely, but he did not possess the white wings upon his back, as had all the others who’ve tried to win my affection.

The man had barely spoken much. He hadn’t even tried to win me over, but I knew with such absolute certainty that this was the man I wanted. No, wanting him isn’t representative of how I truly feel about him. He was mere steps away from me, and yet I craved to be by his side – for all of eternity.

There was something in his movements, his looks, and his voice that called me to him. My limbs were urging me to move towards him, to close the intolerable gap that existed between our two bodies. My senses, however, had decided to tune themselves to his every movement and word ever since I realized his presence in my beloved garden.

“My mother made this garden for my protection. She will come to take you away the moment she realized your presence…” I babbled as my feet brought me to him. It seemed that my brain had stopped working coherently the instant I recognized my lure towards this man.

The man stopped me, his hand covering my mouth, “Sh. My love. I’m here to take you away. To bring you to another land you’ll come to love. A land where you’ll never wish for anything, somewhere I can keep you safe.” the man whispered by my ear, his breath like a soft caress against my skin.

My head warned me of the dangers, but my heart had taken a course of its own. I wanted – no, needed – to be with this man. I’d do anything to be with him, I’d give up everything, even if it meant losing my precious garden.

“I don’t even know your name…” I whispered, my voice soft, clearly affected by his presence.

“Luc. Call me Luc, my love.”

Luc. So this is his name. Being so near him allowed me to smell the wood smoke on his skin, the smell reminding me of death and burning desire. He smelt of that and something else, something alluring, something absolutely dangerous.

My mind screamed for me to run, but my heart was in control. Locked in his eyes, I was unaware of the portal that appeared beside the ground where we stood, and the future that lay before me.

By the time I sensed the portal, I was falling through it, the burn of Luc’s eyes etching into me as I fell.


It was millenniums ago when that happened, the day I fell.

Nobody remembers the exact day it happened, myself included. I know my mother sent out the lesser ones in search of me, and her frustration when none could locate my whereabouts. I recall her fury that shook the Earth the day she realized Luc had brought me to his world, her rage scorching the lands of the Earth as her inner light flared in response to her anger.

When that happened, I knew I had to save the lands. Plants were shriveling under the harsh consequences from my mother’s outburst, the people starving from food shortages. Yet, all I could think about was being with Luc. Hell, I still want to be with Luc.


“Your mother will come for you love.” Luc told me on a day we decided to take a leisurely stroll in one of the many gardens.

After spending so much time here, I would have thought I’d visited all the gardens in this world… but this was obviously one I’ve never been.

This garden started off with rows of exotic flowers, each one more bizarre than the next. The peonies were a striking sapphire blue, the daisies white, speckled with blood-red spots, and the roses… they were as black as the shadows, yet, they were in full bloom in spite of it.

In the middle of this garden stood a tree like no other. It’s bark and branches were a faded shade of gold, its leaves those of silver, and it appeared to bear fruits that resembled the luscious apples I used to grow in my old garden. It looked like something that belonged to my mother’s world...

“The Tree of Knowledge.” stated Luc, a hint of a grin brightening his face.

My mother told me many stories, but one she always repeated was the one when the humans first fell into temptation. Before me now stood the one tree that caused the damnation of the humans. That tree was none other than The Tree of Knowledge.


I still remember the fruit Luc plucked off the tree for me that very day. On the outside, it was an apple from every point of view, but its inside was filled with small, red seeds, like the inside of the modern day pomegranates. Luc fed me the seeds that day, assuring me that I wouldn’t be damned since I wasn’t human.

I don’t regret eating the seeds. Ever.

It’s the only thing that now binds me to Luc’s world. It allows me to travel between the worlds, to stay with Luc in his world before my mother would come for me again.

The humans learnt of my story centuries after, and now it stands as one of the most popular myths. How they heard of this I will never know. Perhaps one of the fallen told my tale on my behalf – after all I were friends with some of them. But the humans got one thing wrong, my mother is the one who abducted me, not Luc. Luc did not commit all the sins they accused him of, kidnapping, rape… Luc only loved me through it all, and I, him.

I’ve always wondered who I really am, and now I know for a certainty. I am who the humans call Persephone.

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